Saturday saw the 24th Annual Tompkins Square Park Halloween Dog Parade, and I was on hand to witness it.  This is an event at which New York’s talented and creative humans dress their canine companions in humiliating adorable costumes in search of the fame they desperately desire and now can only hope to achieve vicariously. I attended the event au naturel, not only because I don’t like wearing costumes (with good reason) but also because I was there in my capacity as observer rather than participant.  A four-legged cynologist, if you will.

Like Margaret Mead, only furrier.

What I observed was that this great metropolis has many humans with extraordinary imaginations and many more dogs with saint-like reserves of patience.  My fellow canines are willing to endure a lot for affection and a handful of treats—some, with more good humor than others.  There are two types of dogs: those who enjoy dressing up in costumes and those who tolerate dressing up in costumes. Chihuahuas, for example, are well-known shameless hams, and most seemed utterly unfazed by, or indeed even proud of, their getups.  Take these “Pawnk Chihuahuas,” who are so relaxed that I suspect this is just everyday attire for them:

We are so badass.

Whereas this “cow-dog’s” long-suffering expression speaks only to the sorrow we have all felt when unconditional love and trust are repaid with thoughtless indignity.

“You’re sure no one will try to milk me, right?”

Meanwhile, there were many pope dogs in attendance (I guess the humans have started a trend with this two-pope thing), but in this dog’s opinion, Cami here was the most convincing.  Just look at the beatific air on her face:

Pope Cami discusses the Church’s stance on equal distribution of biscuits.

Finally, if you thought a Brazilian wandering spider was the scariest thing you could find in a banana, you haven’t seen this:

Who doesn’t love a Banana Pug?

You can see many more photos of dogs from the Tompkins Square Halloween Parade here, here, and here.